On Friday, April 23, after breakfast at the Westward Ho Casino Buffet in Las Vegas, we headed out to Laughlin, Nevada for the 2004 River Run, the 22nd go 'round for this event. Nope, we didn't ride, we took the rental Blazer for the 99 mile trip. Oh, man, I can hear someuvay'all sayin' right now - "How kin ya go to a Biker Event and not ride." It was easy. Honest. We flew out there cuz we didn't have the time to ride from Daytona to Las Vegas - a short jaunt of 2,250 miles; or the money - the whole trip only cost us $430 each and we be certainly too poor (an' too sneaky smart) to pay the ridiculous prices to rent a bike from the local dealer or V-twin rental places. Man! They wanted $200 per day, three day minimum. That was more 'n we paid for the whole dang trip to Vegas! We rode
in the Blazer listen' to tunes, haulin' Boots' wheelchair and chillin' in the AC.
Once we got there, no one knew we didn't ride, anyhow. There were thousands of bikes parked at every casino in town an' anyone oneuv'em coulda been mine! Heh heh heh. An' jes like Bike Week back home, there were hundreds of locals all dressed up as "Scooter Trash" tryin' to be like us for a day. I did make a mistake, though. Sure wish I woulda bought oneuvem ol' "I Rode Mine" patches. Then I could impress everyone with how far I ride cuz I got a sticker. I ain't got a bike, but I got the stickers or patches on my jen-u-wine biker's vest or skid lid. Pretty cool, huh?
It's sarcasm, or satire, y'all. But true, too. Awright, enuff of it.
Above and right - Once ya get outta Vegas Valley, there's one little town between there an' Laughlin an' that's Searchlight, Nevada. Hadda couplea gas stations, a casino and a restaurant, but that was about it. An' when I say there's nuthin' for fifty miles, I mean it. Ain't nuthin' but miles...
Crystal blue skies, rugged mountains and desert scrub terrain. Awesome beauty, that's for sure.
There were lotsa cops on the highway on the way down. An' everyoneuva 'em had someone pulled over. I set the cruise on 70 mph, the speed limit was 65, and went. We took US Hwy 95 South to the small town of Cal Nev Ari - no, kiddin', that's the name of the place - and hung an East on Hwy 163 to Laughlin. First stop in town - the Visitor's Center to pee, smoke and get some info on the place. Then we drove down to a convenient parkin' spot - the covered garage at Don Laughlin's Casino (he's the dude that started the whole town back in 1967 by buildin' a casino in the middle of nowhere) an' we started walkin'. And there was lotsa that, lemme tell ya.
Above - The road (Hwy 163) down to the the Colorado River and Laughlin. That's Arizona on the other side.
Right - Another view of the town as you come down from the mountains.
Below - Bobby an' Biggy in a tender moment before headin' to HOG Heaven. I don't know if that's what it's called like here in Daytona, but it was where H-D, Yamaha and Honda had their display and demo ride areas set up.
Ya know what else there was lotsa of? Bikes and bikers. Holy cow! Someone told me that they expected fifty thousand. Yeah, well, I bet there were more 'n that and it was only Friday. Every hotel lot was jammed up with bikes, there were a gazillion vendors here, there an' everywhere, an' there was plenty of action goin' on.
One thing I noticed right away. After being spoiled by the casinos in Las Vegas with super cheap food and drink, it seems since the bikers were here in Laughlin, it was time to make some
quick bucks from our "deep" pockets. It kinda reminded me of being back in Daytona. Ya know - rip off prices to gouge the bikers when they come to town. I don' know 'bout you, but my pockets are kinda slim an' I wasn't buyin' the beer from the places set up in the parkin' lots. We went inside a couple of casinos, sat down at a slot machine and motioned for a hostess. We got our drinks and headed back out. It's a good thing Boots has cut way back on her beer consumption since the heart attack! We woulda gone broke payin' those prices, 'specially since she wasn't ridin' her bike. I was the designated driver and she was on free pour for the week! Did I mention those 99 cent, 32 ounce margaritas at the Westward Ho? Or how 'bout 'em 99 cent Heinekins when were hangin' in the lounge. Oh well, rip off prices on food and drink are definitely the norm now. Thank goodness for flasks, Convenience stores and saddle bags.
The whole purpose of Laughlin, I think, is to be a close spot to Arizona to gamble. There's lotsa huge casinos on the River and it looks kinda incongruous when you see it the first time. Ya think to yourself, "What in the hell is this place doin' out here in the middle of nowhere?" It's actually pretty cool, I reckon. Someone, I guess Don Laughlin, had some big gajones to start this place up. Anyhow, the main drag through town, and there's only one drag through town as far as we discovered, is lined with these casinos. Lotsa famous named ones and some off-the-wall ones, too. I guess the main stretch is three miles long and this is where the event is laid out and where the cruisin' is. Kinda like a w i d e, four lane version of Main Street in Daytona or Sturgis. The casinos are all lined up on the river and each one has a
parkin' lot in front of it that runs about five hundred feet out to the main street. I'm serious - it's gotta be five hundred feet if it's a foot. I reckon the land ain't like the waterfront property back
in Daytona - I guess it doesn't
cost much for desert scrub.
Pretty nice of this place, doncha think? Let the cars all park up front near the hotel and casino and make the bikes park out by the street.
Why doncha think about the bikers, idiots?
Below - Boots had her wheels for the day. We had the lunch buffet in the Showboat Casino in the background. $5.95 a person, includin' drinks. It was a nice spread that included shrimp, seafood, prime rib, and other delights. A burger or 'bbq' sandwich outside in the "Biker" area was six bucks. An' people were payin' it. Go figure.
And this one made 'em park on the side. Oh well.
Below - I told ya the Main Drag was wide. Lotsa room to walk, too, without havin' to use the ol' shoulder nudgin' technique ya gotta use in Daytona. And, as y'all know, biker's're the greatest and always moved outta the way for the wheelchair or offered to help if I got bogged down by a curb or something. Maybe I oughta rent one alla time!
Below - Jesse James and West Coast Choppers were set up. Why, I'll bever know. 'Less it was for them high rollin' gamblers with deep pockets. I heard he won't even build a bike for under six figures. Now you tell me: "How in theeee hell can a motorsickle be worth a hundred grand?"
Leesburg, Banbridge, Bike Week, Biketoberfest, Myrtle Beach, et al.
I found out after we'd left and I read one of the event papers I picked up that one of our famous local boys, Billy Lane (and an FSU Seminole alum, I might add) and crew from Choppers, Inc., were set up down the road at the River Palms Casino. After seein' their ad on the plane trip back to Orlando, I kinda wish
many vendors and builders in each parking lot that it just got to be the same ol' same ol'. I guess the best way to describe it would be to tell you to imagine doin' this during Bike Week in Daytona Beach:
Walk both sides of Main Street, then Beach Street, then the Iron Horse and then across the street to the Jackson Hole and up the road to the Broken Spoke and then to the White Eagle and then to the Cabbage Patch. Only there was no ridin' along the way or in between stops at each place. Just walkin'. An'
it wasn't cuz we weren't on bikes, it's just because all the vendors and builders and stuff were set up in parkin' lots, side-by-side, for a couple of miles. It's just overwhelming and you can only look at the same ol' $19.95 leather vest so many times, yaknowwhadda I mean?
One thing that was kinda cool was to just hang out along the main drag like these boys below right were doin'. You got to watch all the different bikes ridin' by and you got to talk smack, well, at least Boots did, to all the people strollin' by on their way to the next vendor area. The sounds of the bikes, the smells, the
In one of the lots we got to meet Nobody, below left, from Redneck Engineering ("We don't care how they do it on the West Coast") outta South Carolina. These boys and their Redneck Ingenuity build some awesome bikes. I'd met 'em once before and just love checkin' out the radical lines they put together (left and below). Talk about "one-off" customs. Holy Mackeral. That was pretty cool - two southern boys shootin' the breeze with all these left coast bikers walkin' by, mouths hangin' open at the bikes on display.
Daimler Chyrsler had their 12 cyclinder Tomahawk on display at the Dodge Ram area (above left). Ho hum. It ain't goin' nowhere but in a museum somewhere. Maybe the can use some of the technology if they ever decide to build bikes. Yeah, right! They had the steel cage around it so you couldn't really see much and they didn't fire it up or anything.
Just takin' more pictures while we were doin' more walkin' up the main drag to the next vendor area. They had each of the parkin' lots fenced off and you couldn't just walk from one to the other. You hadda walk back off the property to the sidewalk and walk up to the next place. Pretty much a major bummer cuz it added lotsa steps to the walk an' my dogs were barkin', I tell ya.
Bobby and Biggy and a pause at Ol' No. 7. I was drivin', doncha know.
I know - some of y'all are scrollin' down this whole damn page lookin' for the chicks. Well, here's 'bout all I got - below. They had wet t shirt and bikini contests scheduled in most of the casinos for later in the night but, "Oh, horrors!" you had to pay to get in many of 'em. Omigod! I couldn't believe it. You had to pay to see a wet t contest during a biker event! And I bet they had lotsa people payin', too. I was dumb- founded.
Or maybe we're just spoiled in this part of Florida. Just think - you had to register for the event just to see a bikini contest and then you even had the privlege of payin' $4 for a beer. Wonderful. An' ya know what? As long as people keep on payin' it, they'll keep on doin' it. Remember when people used ta be skeered of bikers? Now they are the bikers. Holy Moly.
Below left - Biggy and Boots. Below - Monk and Bobby. We were just plain tuckered out, y'all. Gettin' energy to walk back to the car to head back to Vegas.
One other thing that really kinda stood out for me is that we saw no motorcycle club patches. And I mean not a single one. No CMA, no Mil Vets, no HOG patches, no nuthin'. Everyone that's a biker knows about the Hells Angels MC and Mongol MC thing a couple of years ago in Laughlin, but not seein' a single patch was kinda strange. Hmmmm...
Then again, maybe it's kinda gone the way of
Bike Week and Sturgis - it ain't about Bikers anymore. It's about "enthusiasts."
Ah, well. Such is progress. And who can fault those new to the biker world? Ya can't fault 'em for wantin' a piece of what we've been livin' for years and years, can ya? Freedom. Brotherhood. Camaraderie. Road stories. Memories. Wish there was some way we could collect some bucks from 'em while they're buyin' their way in, though! Or I just wish they'd slip me a couple of bucks as they walk by in their new leathers so I could afford to buy a damn beer again! Prices on everything go sky high as demand shoots up. And these new riders are definitely willin' to "buy" their way in.
And on the right we have one of 'em ol' left coast low-riders castin' long shadows as dusk creeps in and we walked back to the parkin' garage. Okay - it may cost $30K and look cool to some, but how in theee hell do ya turn right or left from a stop without hittin' the tank?
Oh, my bad. I'm sorry. You're not supposed to ride it, you're only supposed to show it. Same thing about most of all the new "Biker" fashions, I guess. You ain't supposed to ride in 'em, you're supposed to walk around lookin' "cool," gettin' that renegade biker look down pat. Man.
Wonder if they'd get a
ticket in Florida for 'em handle-bars. I know they ain't ape hangers but wonder if the law says something about bars hafta be higher 'n the seat or sumthin'?!?!
All in all, we had a good time at the Laughlin River Run. It's always pretty neat to do something you haven't done before. Especially if it has to do with motorcycles and bikers. We got to talk with some gray-beards and got to see how they do it out West. I wouldn't go out just to hang there for four days, but one day in conjuction with a trip to Vegas was pretty cool. Next year we stay at home and do the Leesburg Bike Fest. That's done the way we like 'em and is on the same weekend as the Laughlin River Run, namely the last weekend in April.
We might, however, go out to Las Vegas for the Vegas Bike Week to check that one out, too. Only problem with that one is that it's the same weekend as the Bainbridge Bike Fest and Peterson's Key West Poker Run. Damn - guess there aren't enuff weekends in a year for all the events everyone's wantin' to put on.
Something else that kinda caught my attention was in a local, weekly events paper - all the "headliner" bands cost money to see. And that's something else we're spoiled with in Daytona, I reckon. The concerts and bands are free - the various venues and organizations doin' Bike Week want us to hang out at there places so they bring on the
the good entertainment. Most of the Casino parking lots had bands crankin' out American Motor music, but the headliners played the casino showrooms. Lynyrd Skynyrd at the Flamingo Hilton: $38.50 - $49.50; Joan Jett at Harrah's Laughlin: $27.50 - 37.50; Ricky Van Shelton at the Riverside Resort: $30.00; and one of my favorites: .38 Special was at the Flamingo, too, and tickets were $16.50 - $27.50. I like listenin' to all the music but would much rather do it outdoors, hangin' with y'all like at the Bainbridge Bike Fest or something at Spirit of the Suawanee than payin' big bucks to see 'em in a casino show room. Shoot, when I visit a casino showroom, I wanna see a show and
someuv'em ol' topless showgirls struttin' and dancin' across the stage!
Another thing with an unfamiliar feel to it was "Registration" for the event. Stand in line, fork over $45 per person and you got a raffle ticket for a new Harley and other H-D merch-
andise certificates; an event pin; an event bandana; free admission to the Bike Show (yep - they charge to go see the Bike Show at the Golden Nugget); free admission to the Miss Laughlin River Run contest (yep, they charge to see that, too); free entry into the Poker Run and a 22nd Anniversary program book. It didn't even inlcude any of the concerts. Hmmm . . .guess I'm real spoiled by
we woulda made the next half a mile walk down. And, unlike the other places we stopped in, they seemed to have good prices. $2 wells and $2 for a 24 ounce draft. Plus we always like checkin' out Billy's bikes. He's been around before it was "cool' to build choppers and still comes out with awesome tricked out motor-sickles.
But, alas, we were kinda walked out, evented out, and just tired, so we didn't make it down to say, "Hey." Bummer.
There was a little respite between the parking lots of the casinos, but there were so
atmosphere was awesome. I know y'all know what I mean. An' that's what it's really all about, ain't it? The people and the bikes.
